Maliyah's Mom

Coming home from the hospital with your first child is most definitely a leap of faith moment.  It's like jumping out into the great unknown and hoping that you will do everything right.  It's not some little experiment that you are trying in your kitchen.  It is a human life that you instantly love and want to protect and provide for.  Thank God for His wisdom in wiring parents with the courage needed to take that first step; that first step to leave the hospital and go home and be a new parent. I think of the moment when I took Sarah home from Chandler Regional Hospital 9 years ago.  I remember the fear of the unknown that was ahead.   The uncertainty of knowing what to do when she cried or knowing how much to feed her or knowing what she needed or knowing what to do in the middle of the night .....the list went on.  Leaving the hospital for the first time was scary!  I think of that moment when I think of the young parents I work with who are having their first child at such a young age.  Not only are they facing many of the things most new parents face coming home for the first time, but they are also so young and not necessarily prepared for what is ahead.  They have had 9 months to digest and prepare for adult responsibilties and enormous changes they will be facing as teenagers.  Most of us had a few years between being teenagers and parents.  These teens will no longer live the life of a typical teenager.  Potentially overwhelming changes are ahead for them, some realize this and some don't!

I would like to share a story about Maliyah's Mom, Alicia (her name has been changed).  Currently, Maliyah is 6 months old.  She is a beautiful baby girl with a full head of shiny black hair, big brown eyes, and the cutest baby smile ever!  I met Maliyah when she was born at Chandler Regional Hospital in May.  Her young mom was texting me with Maliyah bedside looking for visitors to come to her hospital room.  Her family was coming and going, but she still was alone in an unfamiliar setting with a new baby.  Certainly a scary experience at 16 years old.  Alicia was proud of her new baby girl, but the look of "now what" was on this young mother's face.  She was uncertain of the adventure that was ahead and I cannot imagine how she felt at that moment.   She had family supporting her and was equipped with diapers, stroller, car seat, clothes, the essentials, but the uncertainty of what to do next was still right before her.  Alicia went home and embraced the challenge of being a new mom and she has grown into one of the most amazing mother's I know.  Not only is Maliyah a healthy, strong, and beautiful baby, but her mother is also a strong, confident, and empowered young mom.  Here is her story.

When I met Alicia she was pregnant, timid, QUIET, and scared of what was ahead.  I worried about her and wondered what I needed to do most to support her.  As the months have passed, I have seen her advocate for herself and her child in a way that made me realize that this mom is a survivor and not only will she continue to overcome the challenges she faces as a teen mother, but her daughter will grow up strong and without a doubt someday very proud of her mother. 

As part of my program we have funding to help with baby supplies - diapers, formula, clothing, fun stuff...you name it.  We have a generous budget and that truly makes my job easier and so much more fun!  However, I have a strong commitment to making sure that the parents in my program do not see me as a wishing well where they can just call me up at the last minute and ask for stuff when they run out.  Of course, this has happened several times.  "Heidi, I ran out of diapers.  Can you bring some by?"  I am not a delivery service or a place for free stuff.  Now this may sound cold hearted, however there is compassion in this story.  :)  I share with my parents that if they "work" for me they will earn whatever items they need.  For example, Alicia is probably one of the parents who has the greatest need, so I pick her up each week from school and she comes to my office and helps me with different jobs - filing, organizing, labeling.  She earns her diapers and has learned to plan ahead and stock up on the things she needs so that Maliyah will never go without.  This is a huge step!  I tease her and tell her I want to make her a t-shirt that says "will work for diapers", because she literally will.  Of course, often times our "work" is more fun than actual work, but the point is that Alicia calls me in advance, schedules a time to come, and is commited to earning what she needs.  At that point, I become very generous and simply want to bless her because I know she values earning the things she needs for her daughter.  It is truly a joy to be able to give Alicia what she needs for her baby, and the weekly communication allows for great conversations and problem solving.  It is a win, win for sure! 

Not only is Alcia a survivor, but she is commited to her education.  She is brilliant.  She works hard at school and wants to be sure she earns her credits to graduate.  She wants her daughter to see her mom graduate.  Alicia is going to school for herself and Maliyah.  This young mother is so commited to graduating that she has gone through thick and thin to enroll her child in Headstart - both for the learning environment for her daughter and for the child care.  We spent hours retrieving necessary documents for her to enroll Maliyah.  We completed applications and drove all over the place to take care of what needed to be done.  Once all that was done, Maliyah was placed on a long waiting list.  Another frustrating hurdle that this young mom didn't let discourage her.  So, she waited.  Eventually, she received a call stating Maliyah could come to Headstart, but there was no transportation.  A huge issue where I work.  Without a blink, Maliyah's mom said she would walk Maliyah to school because they both needed it.  Now let me paint a picture for you.  Alicia lives in the desert.  It is isolated and there are no sidewalks or paved roads on the path to school.  Alicia lives about a 20 minute walk from school and headstart.  Alicia puts Maliyah in the stroller and walks across the desert each morning before school to make sure her daughter gets to Headstart and to make sure she is getting her education every day!  Most 16 year olds would have said forget it and stayed home. 

Everytime Maliyah's mom is faced with an obstacle or challenge she overcomes it.  I think I get more concerned or stressed out for her than she does.  She takes it all in stride and contiues to persevere.
Alicia inspires me and makes me proud to know her.  I have no doubt that she will continue to do amazing things in her life and the result will be a healthy, strong and empowered little Maliyah!